Stupid things I used to believe…

Hi friends!
I used to believe some 🦇-💩 crazy things at the beginning of my vet career.

If I could apologize to some of those pet owners/ pets from the beginning, I would. But you know, I can’t.
I sometimes remember fondly about those times and pat myself on my back. I’ve come a long way and am proud of my professional achievements.

I used to believe an equal amount of 🦇-💩 crazy things at the beginning of my career as a coach. Not all that my first teachers and mentors still apply, with the knowledge that I currently have about the nervous system, our minds, our emotional memories, and so on.
One of the most 🦇-💩 -CRAZY things I used to believe in the VERY EARLY beginning of my coach career was to try to change my thoughts to create other emotions about certain coworkers.

You see, I HATED THEM.
I HATED them so much that I became angry and frustrated, and sometimes when THEY did 🦇-💩 -crazy things, I cried of anger and powerlessness.

My initial mentor/teacher used to tell us that it’s not worth it to hate them and that “only we feel the hate; they don’t.”
It made sense. And I used to tell my clients the same thing.
Until I hit a wall. And I couldn’t not hate some of them anymore.

They were BAD! I mean, BAD! Doing all the things that pushed all my buttons over and over again: racism, sexism, non-ethical non-monogamy (aka having an extra-conjugal relation with a coworker, non-approved by their partner), bad veterinary medicine, torturing animals with procedures done without proper analgesia, AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!
You name it! THE WHOLE FUCKING ENCHILLADA!
Years went by. I got more skilled at understanding and dealing with my emotions.

And I became skilled at Un-Shaming all my experiences or emotions, INCLUDING my HATE (thank you, David Bedrick!).
And when I realize that’s OK TO HATE THEM, suddenly my anxiety about:
-working with them
-taking cases from them or giving them cases
-participating in rounds with them
-presenting cases with them or having staff meetings with them present….…
… IT JUST WENT SPOOF AND DISAPPEARED!

I couldn’t coach myself with all the known cognitive tools to change an emotion triggered by something that stepped upon my deepest values.
My mind/unconscious mind kept creating physical reactions in my body.

When I UnShamed my hate and accepted that part of my human being, the anxiety was GONE.

I released the need to accept and be accepted by that person.

And I suddenly felt NEUTRAL about them.

I was able to behave professionally towards them and spoke my truth on solid grounds over and over again.

So now, I start by asking my clients why they want to stop hating some of their coworkers or people in their lives.

Sometimes a narcissist is just a freaking narcissist. Or a bully. Or a misogynist. Or a racist.

And I will damn well choose to hate them!

And the HATE will set us free!

😈 😈 😈 😈 😈

Have a wonderful week, my friend!
XO, Nadina💖